Used Tesla 2016.5 AP2.0 Model S P100D San Diego
purchased May 2017, loved every day since.
I don’t know how else to say it but it’s ME not you Scarlet. You are the most perfect amazing car I have ever laid eyes on and smile every time I look at you. Please as I profess my love of you and explain myself, let me cover a few points:
What you do for me?
• You are so sexy, I have been caught taking pictures of you in the parking lot and sneaking into the garage at night just to sit in you. Maybe love is blind but I haven’t seen a hotter P100DL – not in pictures, not on the road, not in my dreams.
• Your enhanced Gen 2 autopilot is truly remarkable with the latest AI and I truly thank you for looking out for me when I was fumbling around looking for my phone.
• You are so bloody fast that I had to leave you in Sport mode most of the time after I almost launched you into that smelly ICE – but when we had those moments of open road, my spirit, body and even my face was young by the 1.2g’s of acceleration.
• Your build is one of the best Model S’s I have seen. Being this was a car used for Tesla ads and delivered to me with 65 miles on it, I am sure they put extra love into your build.
• Your rare Premium heated AND ventilated seats never left me uncomfortable.
• the Cold Weather package, Premium upgrade black interior throughout matched with the dark glossy ash wood somehow even made the High Fidelity Sound upgrade all the better.
• We had many romantic nights gazing at the stars through your enormous (not like that) glass top.
Really sweetie, the only thing you are missing are those silly jump seats but unfortunately the family needs that .
I am sure you know what I did for you, but let me remind you that as a detail oriented Electrical and Mechanical Engineer, you were the right girl for me and I right for you:
• Upon delivery, I had the best paint protection guy in the business (https://www.bemarofilms.com/) look you over and we had all the poorly painted bits corrected.
• I hired a top carbon fiber repair guy to paint that flat-black spoiler glossy like the rest of you.
• You were absolute perfection when we covered your front in the best film and then added ceramic opticoat pro plus coating to all of your surfaces and glass. That kept the water off and you looking your best – guaranteed for the next 6 years. You cost me an extra $6k right out of the gate but I never regretted it.
• Even with all that protection, I still washed you a couple times a week and would spray those bugs off every night.
• You never had “junk in trunk” or the frunk for that matter.
• my kids had their shoes off and ears ringing from my screaming at them.
• I patted down those kids and even *that other lady * before they were allowed in. Haha remember that time they were dirty and they ALL had to ride home naked? Great times.
• I will say that you have a bit of a shoe problem. Those $10,000 slightly wider 285 HRE’s were really excessive – even for you.
• When you blacked out your glass and shiny parts, and wore those shoes, my heart stopped and I cried inside. Sorry I never told you that, but why do you also need those brand new Silver Staggered Arachnids THAT YOU HAVEN’T EVEN WORN!? Don’t get me started on the drilled slotted blingy rings (R1 Performance rotors) that have also never been taken out of the box :(.
• Also why did you buy that tent (outdoor cover) when we have a four car garage that you were always in?
• And seriously, who has been feeding you? I am concerned as I never see you eat (free supercharging for life).
• Why did you have those “SD all weather floor matts” when you live in SAN DIEGO!? YEAH I kept your old ones for the next bloke.
Sorry that really isn’t important now, but I do want you know for your next partner’s sake. On that note, I have always known you were bisexual so just come out with it, own it and find yourself a nice lady because I would guess she would take better care of you than some other guy. Even mentioning you with another guy just made me puke in my mouth and reconsidering this lunacy.
Again, I am really sorry we must part ways but at this point in my life, I am just not good enough for you (or so that other lady says) and I want you back out there while in your prime. My family needs me so try to understand.
With all my love, respect, you were my first love and I will never forget you.
PS. Please don’t make fun of the fat flappy armed gal I am replacing you with (Model X). She is more of a family gal if you know what I mean.
PSS. To whom it may concern, I love this car and may pull the add and rob a bank at any moment to keep her. This car has all options except FSD and the rear jump-seats. I really did take meticulous care of her and while there are a couple of bits of the film that has road damage, the paint and clear under is perfect. I didn’t abuse my Prius, much less this amazing car